Speaking with confidence at meetings

Finding your voice

Do you dread going to meetings with your bosses and being expected to talk? Do you freeze sometimes when put on the spot in a meeting to answer a tricky question? Do you have difficulty chiming in with your views at meetings?

This challenge confronts many of us, yet we don’t talk about it for fear of appearing weak, vulnerable, or funnily enough...not confident! I am going to talk about it for three reasons.

One, I see this problem as holding back really smart people who do have views and ideas but can’t find their voice at the right moment to be heard among other ‘more confident’ (we’ll call them louder) voices.

Two, those often louder voices aren’t always right – your workplace needs a diversity of voices including yours to be heard.

Three, it’s a problem that is often exacerbated on Zoom meetings because we’re still learning how to manage participation at them. (see Tip 9)

So here is a summary of my ten tips on how to communicate with confidence during business meetings.

Before speaking

1. Prepare
‘Confident speakers’ aren’t just born confident. Some of us are extroverts and enjoy talking. But with preparation and practice you can learn to speak confidently and with authority.

Before attending a meeting, prepare as much as you can. Too often the purpose of meetings is not clear. You can play a critical role in making meetings more efficient and effective by asking this question of the convenor ahead of the meeting. Others will thank you!

If you are clear on purpose, then decisions can be made and alliances formed before the meeting has started. Try to find out who is going to be there, and what they are likely to think, say, and ask. Be clear on what you want to get out of the meeting, and what you want to say and why. Write a few dot points. If you are seeking to persuade others, then look for allies and seek to understand your opponents.

2. Claim your position both physically and mentally.

If you are likely to feel intimidated because your bosses will be at the meeting, arrive early and claim a good position - don’t hide at the end of the table. Chat to people as they come in to connect with them as humans rather than CEOs, Managers, Heads of Departments etc. Sit up tall. Take some deep breaths... drink some water to avoid sounding scratchy... and start.

When speaking

3. Pace yourself to talk more slowly than you otherwise would.

4. Vary your volume and tone to maintain people’s attention. You don’t have to be the loudest voice. Sometimes, those who have the most impact in a noisy, fast paced conversation are the ones who wait until others have spoken and then talk slowly and quietly, with authority. It can change the pace and help others to focus on what’s important. Be inclusive by making eye contact with as many participants as possible.

5. Be authentic, because people can usually spot a fake. At the same time, always be professional and respectful of colleagues. There is nothing wrong with showing some passion or emotion – at the right time and in the right context! Someone who does this well is former Prime Minister of New Zealand, Jacinda Adern. Her communication is generally regarded as authentic, trustworthy and credible.

6. Be strategic about when and why you speak. Loud people often speak to be heard. Truly confident people speak only when they are adding to the conversation, or asking important questions that no one else has yet asked. They listen first to others and are curious about what they are saying. They seek to build on the contributions of others with phrases such as ‘yes and...’ rather than leading off with ‘yes but...’

7. Build credibility and trust by knowing when to speak and knowing your facts. People listen to those they trust and think are credible. These qualities don’t necessarily attach to you owning a position in an organization. You have to earn people’s trust. One way of doing this is by always saying what you know and how you know it and what you don’t know. For example, ‘from this year’s data it’s clear that’....OR…’I don’t know the answer to that question but I will find out’.

8. Read the room. Sometimes people are distracted, the meeting has gone on too long, too many people have already spoken. So if it’s not the right time, you can just say...’I’d like to add something to that but I’m conscious of time - I’ll follow up with X after the meeting’. Also, if you don’t feel comfortable being put on the spot to respond to a question or comment, then you can say...’I’d like a bit more time to consider that and I can get back to you by X...is that timing ok?’

9. Change your mindset. If you have been struggling to communicate with confidence, then it’s important that you try to understand what’s behind this. Common reasons I hear include:

‘Everyone else in the meeting is smarter, more experienced than me’

Response: you are there because you have a unique perspective and contribution to offer, so don’t undersell yourself.

‘I don’t want to appear dumb by asking that question’

Response: people will thank you for asking the ‘dumb’ question because they don’t know the answer either.

‘I can’t break in because I am naturally quiet and everyone is talking over the top of each other’.

Response: put your hand up and then usually the Chair will acknowledge you. I particularly recommend this for Zoom calls where getting heard can be even more challenging. The hand signal in Zoom can help the Chair to manage this situation

10. Challenge yourself! We all have to attend meetings as part of our work. Whether it’s one or ten people in the room, being able to communicate with confidence is a core skill. Watch and learn from others, particularly those who you think are most effective. Then don’t be afraid to practice and develop your own style. 

I hope these tips help - if you want to delve deeper into how to apply them, you may benefit from my coaching services.